JOKES

I trained my dog not to beg at the table.How did you do that?
I let him taste my wife cooking.

What did the hungry computer eat?
Chips, one byte at a time. 

My wife has a black belt in cooking
One chop and your dead!

My partner's cooking is so bad that we pray BEFORE and AFTER we eat.

Wife: "The two things I cook best are Chicken Fry and Mutton Chops."
Husband:  "Which one is this?" 

Two confirmed bachelors were talking when the conversation eventually drifted from politics to cooking.
The first guy said, "I got a cookbook once but I could never do anything with it."
"Too much fancy stuff in it, eh?", asked the other.
"You said it", the first guy replied. 

"Every one of the recipes began the same way, 'take a clean dish'..." 

Don't use your cutting board - use your toilet seat instead. 
After testing various household surfaces in 15 homes for bacteria,
researchers from the University of Arizona told New Scientist 
magazine that toilet seats were much more hygienic than most 
kitchen surfaces...and cleaning the punchbowl is a snap. 

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!" 

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. 

Why is a wedding dress white?  So the dishwasher will match the oven and the fridge.